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  • Writer's pictureKarena Steir

Says Who?

One simple little question...a seemingly disrespectful and confrontational question...and that's exactly why it's going to become our new mantra!

Ever feel pressured to do something for some mysterious reason even though it leaves you feeling incompetent, unhappy, separated from those around you and all sorts of other painful things? It's as if there is some sort of unwritten rule, maybe an "etiquette" or social grace, you are pretty sure exists somewhere, but you aren't quite sure where.

Things like:

  • Don't ask for help from friends or family (you may be obligating them to help even though they don't want to).

  • Don't accept help when it's offered (the person is probably trying to be nice but doesn't ACTUALLY want to help).

  • Make sure people keep a positive image of you (yeah, yeah, we shouldn't care what people think...but we NEED their approval).

  • Say yes to requests regardless how you feel or what your schedule looks like (you don't want to make another person feel uncomfortable for feeling rejected).

So my question for you AND ME today is: Who Says? I mean literally, who said these things, and are they the kind of person we want to be? If you are conforming to a rule that was shared by someone you greatly admire and aspire to be, their rules are likely the way. If you are following generic rules that somehow came in to being...that's a quick ride to no where!

As you dig deeper into this question, you often find many rules came from your parents and teachers. As time progresses, it becomes our friends and social network that construct rules for us. It gets even more messed up as we allow marketing and the media to make these unquestioned rules.

And this is where the question "Who Says?" comes in to play. Maybeline says you have to have beautiful eyelashes? Your mom says you have to marry a doctor? Your coworker says you have to drink Starbucks? Are these people living the exact life you want to live? Would you ASK them these questions if it wasn't voluntold? If your "Who Says" isn't a valuable source - find a better source!

The only correct answer to this question ... to quote the most infamous dad quote ever:


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